Match Report: Bristol University A v West Wilts
By William Stonehewer-Smith
Final Score: Bristol University A 1-4 West Wilts
Having discovered on the previous day that a home game meant meeting your teammates at Coombe Dingle and not waiting for them alone at Roo Bar, I managed to get to the game in good time today. Watching the final half of a high-scoring UBMHC 4th XI match provided some much-needed inspiration for our game against West Wilts.
After a strong warm up, the usual team huddle and “3,2,1, BRISTOL” was abandoned for no apparent reason other than Troy’s natural apathy. This tactic paid off and we made a good start. Greenall did well to hold the defence together, Kincaid et al made a strong impression up front, and Trew performed his usual work horse duties in the middle.
Facing the best team in the league was obviously not going to be an easy task. Our opposition played an attacking formation that left us short of men at the back on several occasions, their press was high and relentless, and the cracks in our defence began to show. A ball came through and was closed in on by a West Wilts attacker. As the goalkeeper, it became increasingly apparent I was going to have to take things into my own hands at this point. I strode out of the goal, lined up the ball and, kicked it purposefully away from danger and to one of our own defenders forming the next attack which would lead to a flurry of goals, a 7-nil victory, me winning man of the match and Greenall successfully proposing to a lingerie model. Except that didn’t happen. Instead of clearing the ball properly like any sane human being, I put it straight onto the stick of their best attacker who dutifully lodged it into the back of the net and now I have to write this match report as punishment. As for Greenall, he spent Sunday night watching chick flicks, eating Dominos, and fixing his terrible car.
Anyway, things started to look up as we equalised, with Kincaid slotting the straightest of flicks between the keeper’s legs (works every time). However, this was to no avail as we were to let in three more before the final whistle. It’s difficult to know where the blame lies for this one.
Highlights: Another cracking match tea
Lowlights: Finding out Lizard Lounge has been renamed